You’re Too Available And You Need Better Boundaries

The realization hit me as I sat in silence on the 405 freeway.

Moments earlier, I’d been listening to The Tony Robbins podcast when agitation began creeping up my spine.

I cannot listen to another minute of anyone talking to me, I shuddered and hit pause.

I’d been so frustrated all day. In theory, it had been a good day but I’d had a shitty attitude and I knew it.

“Why do I always have to do everything? Why does it always fall on me?” I asked the silence in my car.

‘Because you’re too available’, the response came immediately. ‘You need better boundaries.’

Damn, I realized. It’s true.

I always text back immediately. I always drop what I’m doing to help, no matter how busy I am. I almost always say yes.

I’m a helper by nature. A giver, a lover, a peacemaker. But when I always say yes to everyone else, I’m saying no to myself.

Always being available, bending over backwards, and forgoing your own needs isn’t honorable. It’s martyrdom.

Respect yourself, love.

With love,

Alissa

PS — I originally shared this post on Instagram right before Christmas, so if it sounds familiar, that’s why! It resonated with a lot of people so I wanted to be sure I shared it on my blog, too.