The Secret Ingredient To The Life You Desire

What’s your big dream?

You know, the one you’re a little embarrassed to admit out loud. The one that feels kind of crazy and out of reach. The one you gush about to your husband after a few too many glasses of wine.

Maybe your dream is something like, “I want to own a house on the lake one day.” Maybe it’s “I want to be a motivational speaker” or “I want to retire when I’m 50 and travel the world with my husband.”

Or maybe you aren’t even clear about what you desire anymore. Maybe it’s been a while since you’ve really allowed yourself to dream big because it feels impossible, so what’s the point? If that’s you, don’t worry. My hope is that this post will get you excited to dream again.

Since we’re on the topic… my big, audacious dream is to be a successful, paid writer one day.

Successful, meaning, a published author. A trusted writer on well-respected online publications. A known voice in the world of spirituality, mental health, self-love. I want my words to touch thousands of lives. I want to share the message that your greatest strength lies within being exactly who you are.

Whew. That feels really vulnerable to admit. It actually gives me a lump in my throat as I type it. But at the same time, it makes me feel super excited. I really believe that somehow, some way, it’s going to happen. I’m certain of it.

This feeling of certainty is a new revelation for me. It’s one that gives me a lot of peace. Nothing has changed recently to make me feel more certain; I haven’t had any guarantees or exciting new opportunities; no, not at all. This feeling of certainty is simply a mindset shift I decided to make.

Certainty Is The Secret Ingredient

Before we move forward, I want you to let go of how audacious or outlandish your dream feels right now. Seriously, put that aside! We aren’t focusing on the ‘how’ or the steps to take or the potential obstacles, we’re dreaming about your ideal outcome. Give yourself this opportunity to think differently and have fun.

Let’s rewrite the language you use when it comes to your dream.

Instead of saying, “I hope I can own a house on the lake on day”, say “I will own a house on the lake one day.” For me, I’ve begun to say, “I am a writer. I will be a successful, paid writer one day.”

The point is to speak about your dream with certainty. If this dream is something you really, really want, make it your North Star. Know deep in your heart that it is going to happen and you’re on a journey toward it every day.

As Wayne Dyer has famously said, “As you think, so shall you be” and “You see it when you believe it.”

In Gabby Bernstein’s book, The Universe Has Your Back, she shares how these quotes from Wayne Dyer became her internal mantras as she embarked upon the path to become a spiritual leader and author.

Each day I took Wayne’s advice and willingly suspended my disbelief. I’d let go of all limitation and allow my mind to dream. I held visions of writing spiritual books in which I would express the incredible healing and growth I was experiencing. I saw myself as a speaker and teacher. I would create images of myself leading talks alongside these great teachers and offer guidance to audiences, who, like me, longed for personal growth and healing.

I stayed true to my visions, strengthened my certainty, and trusted that the Universe was supporting my work. My certainty gave me a sense of peace. I never felt the need to push my career ahead and instead trusted there was a plan. The Universe responded well to my peace of mind. In time my certainty turned into form and my visions became my reality.

Gabby Bernstein, The Universe Has Your Back

“Be– don’t try to become.” -Osho

Instead of focusing on becoming the person who has a house on the lake one day, be that person. Meaning, carry yourself as if it’s most certainly your future and take actions that will propel you toward it.

If owning a lake house is your dream, an action step might be opening a savings account to save for that future home. Another action step might be exploring different lake towns, learning the real estate market, and getting super familiar with the area that feels right for you.

For Gabby, though she felt an incredible sense of peace and certainty about her future, she also worked relentlessly to get there. It’s not like she was sitting on her couch, envisioning it, and then it just happened. She was being that person she envisioned.

Since she wanted to be an author, she was writing. Because she wanted to be a spiritual teacher, she was taking opportunities to teach and speak. She was attending seminars and getting herself in rooms with the right people. She was acting as a spiritual teacher because she was certain it was her future.

That is the idea of certainty. Since you believe wholeheartedly this will be your future, you can then take actions along the way that get your closer to that dream of yours. When you have certainty, every action, obstacle, setback, and small win is just a part of the journey.

Hard work, passion, and commitment can bring you all the support you need to fulfill your life’s purpose. Certainty of outcome, however, is the secret ingredient. When we are certain, we can relax into a sense of knowing and faith.

Gabby Bernstein, The Universe Has Your Back

Combine Belief With Certainty

Just because the idea of holding onto certainty is simple, doesn’t mean it’s easy. I know it’s not always easy to just feel certain about your future. Especially if your current situation looks nothing like it. Trust me, I’m with you. This is where the practice of belief comes into play as well.

You already know your beliefs shape your reality, right? Then you know how valuable it is to have positive beliefs about the world you live in.

• Think of a morning that’s started off on a bad foot. You’re running 15 minutes late to work and of course traffic is awful. Can anyone drive around here?! You arrive to the office in a huff, avoiding eye contact as you walk in. Your boss hands you a big project and you’re sent over the edge. Ugh, why do I have the heaviest workload around here?
  • On this day, your reality is filled with frustration. No one can drive, you’re tired, you have to do a ton of work, life is a challenge.

• Now think of a morning that started off great. You were able to take your time getting ready for work. Sure, traffic is heavy, but that’s the usual. Someone cuts you off on the freeway. Yikes, they must be in a rush. Whatever! You arrive to the office feeling relaxed because you listened to your favorite music on your commute. You say hi to your coworkers and patiently listen to Martha’s story about her granddaughter. Your boss hands you a big project and you feel nervous but excited. I can’t believe they trust me to do such an important project!
  • On this day, your reality is centered in optimism and gratitude. You’re able to notice the small blessings and aren’t thrown off by minor inconveniences.

As you can see, the only difference between the good day and the bad day is your mindset around it. And every day, we have the option to choose how we’re going to view the world.

When you practice believing the world is an inherently good place and great things happen for you, it becomes easier to feel certain about a beautiful future for yourself. Why? Because you can see the blessings that exist in your life already. When you appreciate what you already have, you’re in a positive state of mind, and you can be certain that there is more good to come.

Those who are certain can afford to wait. And wait without anxiety.

Dr. Helen Shuccman, A Course In Miracles

With love,

Alissa