Don’t Die With Your Music Still In You

“Don’t die with your music still in you.” – Wayne Dyer

Lately, I’ve been jumping out of bed excitedly at about 5am every morning.

Why? Why would anyone be excited to wake up early?

I’m excited because from 5:30am-7am every morning is my time to work on my blog before I go to work. I cozy up on the couch, pop in my headphones, and sink into a sea of words.

I always feel giddy and nervous on the days I hit ‘publish’, hoping what I’ve written will resonate with someone.

After my morning of blogging, I go to my full time job at Vans. I’m an Allocation Analyst which is a demanding and challenging job that keeps me on my toes. Plus, Vans is a rad company to work for. They’re bold and colorful. They truly encourage creative expression. It’s a fun place to work.

As you can guess, my job is analytical and numbers based. Though critical thinking is something I genuinely enjoy; I’ve always had this creative side of me that loves to write and make things pretty. I started finding myself using spare moments to write in Google documents.

Writing has always been my first love.

When I was a kid, I spent hours writing little books. I wrote dramatic stories. One infamous (to my family) story I wrote was about a dog getting into a fight with another dog at the vet. Complete with illustrations. I was a strange kid. I also enjoyed cutting models out of the JC Penney catalog and writing stories about them.

I was an English nerd in high school and devoured all of the creative writing classes I could take in college. In fact, I worked toward a minor in Journalism. I was literally one class away, a photography class, that I dropped because I didn’t like the teacher. What would I use Journalism for anyway when I’m majoring in Retail?

So, while I didn’t get the minor, I took all of the writing classes required for Journalism. I don’t think I actually would’ve used the minor, but knowing photography could’ve come in handy.

Then, I graduated from college with a degree in Retail Merchandising and jumped right into the corporate world. Any love I had for writing was completely forgotten. Nah, I’m not creative, I told myself when my creative friends talked about art they were working on. Wait, what? Being creative was like, my whole identity, until I got older.

Reawakening My Love to Write

Over the past year, I’ve grown to love listening to podcasts that inspire me. And I’ve always loved to read. The notes section in my phone started to fill up with quotes and pieces of wisdom I was collecting. I was often compelled to write lengthy, inspirational Facebook posts but in my head it was like, No one wants to read this! You’re going to annoy people. I still sometimes posted anyway. But most of the time I just shared with my friends who enjoy deep conversations, too.

All of the helpful tips and mindset shifts I was learning were truly changing my life. My once anxious mind was so much more at peace and I was overcome with the need to share with more people.

I wanted to connect with other likeminded people. I wanted to share my learnings. How do I do that?

I knew deep down that I wanted to start a blog. And I know, big deal, everyone has a blog. Quit being so dramatic about it. But I knew if I started one, I’d dive in head first and be committed to consistent posting, no lulls or breaks. I knew it wouldn’t be casual for me because I needed to see this thing through.

So, I sheepishly told my plan to my mom, and then my boyfriend, and then my friends. Everyone was like, “Absolutely! You need to do that.” I gave myself two months to complete the task. I was nervous because my heart was so invested and I wanted it to be great. And so many people already have blogs. Like, millions. Mine was going to be just another one in a million.

Which is true, it is just another one in a million. But, it’s mine, and I’m meant to reach the people I’m meant to reach.

Why You Need to Pursue What You Love

The day I shared my website, I was a sweaty, pacing mess. I had a vulnerability hangover for days from putting so much of my personal self out there for people to read. Is this stupid? Are people going to think I’m weird?

I’ve learned that any time you do something new and unfamiliar, it brings up all of your insecurities. It highlights what you need to work on in yourself. Basically, it’s a perfect opportunity for growth. If you’re always doing things you already know how to do, of course you feel comfortable and confident.

So, while it was initially uncomfortable, it lit a fire in me that has yet to burn out. My creative flame was waiting to be stoked and every time I write, I’m fanning the flames.

I’m three months in and I’ve unlocked something inside of me that gives me the energy to wake up at 5am every morning. I’ve had days where I feel like I’m literally floating on air, so happy to be connecting with people through my words. My head is constantly filled with new post ideas. My lens on life is evolving into: What’s the lesson here? What’s the story in this situation?

What can you spend hours doing without checking the time? What was your favorite thing to do as a kid?

If there’s something you love doing, I urge you to do more of it. Maybe it’s decorating or organizing closets or baking macaroons. We were put on this earth to do more than work, pay bills, and watch TV. I urge you to find time to do what you love.

The Unexpected Gifts Brought by Following My Passion

My blog has brought me immense joy over the past three months that I realize I never would’ve experienced if I hadn’t jumped the hurdle and started this dang thing.

• For one, it quickly connected me with one of my biggest idols, Lori Harder. Feeling moved after attending her women’s retreat, The Bliss Project, I shared a blog post about my experience. That day, I received a personal message from her and she shared a link to my blog post. Seriously, to have someone you admire so much acknowledge you for doing what you love? I was floating on air.

• And then, I shared a post about my journey through stomach issues and how finding holistic healing changed my life. This post was incredibly vulnerable and dear to my heart. I knew the people who needed to hear this message the most, my old Facebook group. In the depths of my suffering, I was an active member in this Facebook group for SIBO sufferers.

• As a result of sharing my story with this group who’d helped me through a hard time, I was able to give back. My message was able to reach thousands of people. In fact, my holistic doctor said he was getting so many phone calls from people in this Facebook group. Some were from other parts of the country or even in different countries! Thankfully, he has colleagues he was able to refer them to; which made my heart happy knowing maybe they’ll find the relief they’re looking for, too.

My blog has connected me with people I didn’t know I had anything in common with. People I hadn’t talked to in years. It’s connected me with smart, kind, caring people who I may have never met if I hadn’t started blogging.

That’s the beauty of putting yourself out there and being vulnerable. I’m learning that we all struggle with so many of the same things. We’re all so much more similar than we think.

It’s Not Easy, But It’s Worth It

I think of how easily I could’ve not started a blog. Seriously. It was so easy to find every reason not to.

It would be easier to sleep in every morning. I already have a full time job. It would be easier to have more free time instead of an added “responsibility”. I don’t know how to make a website, it would be easier to just stick to what I know. It would’ve all been easier, but it would’ve been less fulfilling because my heart was screaming that it needed more.

We all have something inside of us, begging to be let out, and I’m here to tell you that it’s always worth doing. Even if you think it’s too small, that it’s not important enough, that it’s going to be too much work. If you can’t stop thinking about it, it’s worth pursuing.

One of my favorite podcasts is Cathy Heller’s, Don’t Keep Your Day Job, where she encourages listeners to follow their passions. Don’t worry, I plan to keep my day job. But this podcast inspired me to catapult into blogging.

A few months ago, Cathy interviewed, Tara Mohr, author of Playing Big and I loved Tara’s definition of a life calling.

Calling: The assignment that an individual receives to bring light or love into the world in a particular way.

Tara Mohr

When you think of it that way, your life calling doesn’t need to be something big and unknown looming in the distance. And it doesn’t necessarily need to be your day job! It’s a question to ask yourself. What’s my way of bringing light and love into the world? What lights me up that I can share with others?

That is what you should be doing in your life. Someway, somehow.

Let me be clear. When you do decide to pursue the thing you love, be prepared for an insane amount of vulnerability, insecurity, and fear. When you’re emotionally tied to what you’re doing, it’s incredibly hard not to care about what others say or think of it. When your heart is tied to what you’re working on, every bit you release into the world is a little piece of you.

I’ve had plenty of times I’d released a blog post out into the world, feeling super proud of what I’d written; something I’d spent many hours on. And to my dismay, it didn’t get the response I’d hoped for. Maybe only a few people viewed it.

That’s part of the process. If you’re doing what you love because you truly love it, you’ll keep going. I always repeat to myself, I trust that I’ll reach the people I’m meant to reach.

I write because I love to. Blogging has been a huge growth opportunity. It’s been emotional, no doubt. It’s shown me where I need to grow; how much I still rely on external validation; how I fear judgment. But continuing to get up every day and do the work gives me so much pride.

Growth happens on the other side of fear. The high moments I’ve experienced throughout this process have given me a feeling I’ve never had before. This new level of elation, like I’m floating on air and nothing can bring me down.

I easily could’ve missed this experience if I’d shied away from the hard work and ignored my inner urging.

What’s calling you?

With love,

Alissa